Honor killing Another Stigma on our society

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By Rupinder Chandel on 27 Apr 2015 |
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Honor killing      Another Stigma on our society

We are living in the 21st century . Isn't it a shame,that in this so called modern era,practices like Dowry,Sati,Honor Killing,Child Marriages and Female Foeticide still prevail? The education system has failed to uproot these social evils.

Lately,there has been an outpouring of honor killings in our country . It is another stigma,proliferating in our society after Dowry System.
Recently,a suspected case of honor killing came into light in Sonipat district of Haryana. Naked bodies of a man and a woman dumped in two separate suitcases were recovered from a park . Both the bodies had strangulation marks. (Indian Express)
And this disgusting practice is not only being followed in India, but,has spread its fangs all over.According to UN statistics available,about 5,000 honor killings a year are reported worldwide.
Let me quote a few other examples :
In Jordan,one woman was knifed to death because she wanted to continue her education and refused to marry the man chosen for her,by her family.
In Pakistan,a young mother of two sons was shot dead by a family acquaintance because she had sought divorce from an abusive husband.

What baffles me the most is : How come the two words, Honor and Killing got associated with each other. The dictionary meaning of Honor is : esteem , glory and reputation.
By adding the word "honor" to ' killing ', we use the language of those, who justify this gruesome crime as an outcome of their so called "honorable" motives.
How convenient, isn't it? First, you scoop below the level of humanity by performing such an inhumane act.
And then, You manipulate the words and name this monstrous deed of yours as HONOR KILLING.

In my opinion, Honor killing is the ferocious death awarded to the members of a family, for, making certain choices in life, for taking the decisions regarding their own lives. The criminals are the very own siblings or parents of the victim. Let me now psychoanalyze the characters who actually do this crime, lets try to understand their reasoning.This might seem dramatic and absurd to you, but, let us give it a try.

Their pointless and lame excuse would be something like this :
' You brought disgrace to our family, you are the cause of shame. Humiliation, shame and dishonor can not be pardoned. Since you did this, You are no longer a member of this family, I disown you, outcast you (it does not end here) Also, I am the law, (soliloquy: I am the Supreme Power )So I subject you to the brutal death. You deserve death . No mercy '

They actually do it , either by Slitting the throat, beheading the person, whipping, lashing, beating, pouring acid on, stoning, shooting, stabbing, strangling, and even burying or burning the person alive. Stone -hearted they must be , because human heart can not be insensitive to this extent, and can not be so callous.

Is it really the honor or false pride , which is believed to be shaken by the member of the family. ? There is a strong line distinguishing the honor from false pride.
Honor is a grace. It is sort of a strength.Man honors God, the prophets, and his parents. He honors his promises, his vows, his laws , his ethics and forth on.
False pride makes you selfish and demanding . It forces you to think that this world owes you or if you fail to stick to the benchmarks,you will be embarrassed. False Pride restricts you from embarking on a new tradition or to set out a new example by discarding an old tradition (which involves killing each other ) as a superfluous crap.
So,need of the hour is to stop proclaiming this false pride as your honor and realize the difference between the two. Remember , False pride is nothing more than your imprudent ego.

Reasons behind honor killing , as perceived by the society :
Marrying against the parent's wishes, having extra-marital and pre-marital relationships, marrying within the same gotra, eloping with the one you love, Desire for divorce, refusing arranged marriage, engaging in homosexual activities.
People say, these days kids do not intimate their family about their choices and end up with tomfoolery decisions.
But what should be done, if a son or a daughter has already discussed with his or her parents , and they have discarded his/her choice because they blindly follow the society and its so called notions.

These are the crippled reasons, out of which this honor killing is done . Did the victims deserve a brutal death , just because they made certain choices in their lives, because they took their own decisions.Because they have an innate right to chose what seems right to them. This is what independence means . All these activities are still considered as taboo. How can these activities of an individual trigger such a fatal outcome.?

What an irony ! Instead of considering Honor Killing as a taboo , the normal activities like right to make a choice , right to live your life the way you want, is a taboo. Sickening ! Isn't it ?

Earlier , Honor Killing was directed towards women only , but now it has extended towards men as well.

Another disturbing fact :
In our society, women is considered to reflect on the honor of the family. She is being treated as a property, since the earlier times . Men, who controlled their women were considered as leaders , as men of high honor. Women, a mere commodity to be traded , not even valuable. Their life was restricted and they were and are still bounded to follow the sick notions of the society. Be it , their dress code , behavior , attitude , categories of friends they are supposed to have and what not.
Often, women are killed because of mere suspicion that they have engaged in an illicit sexual activity. The sole existence of women has been in question since forever.On the basis of mere judgment, they are considered as a convict.
These are the men, who are incapable of perceiving things in a positive manner and are seized with an impotent sense of judgment .
If a woman refuses to obey a man, if she seeks freedom and challenges patriarchy , she is said to be the cause of shame. And according to the male chauvinist society , the removal of shame restores the honor of the family. How doltish ! this reasoning is. And,
The icing on the cake is, parents believe that they have the right to kill their child , as they have given birth to him/ her. And therefore , honor killing is not murder according to them , but a legitimate action to express their wrath.

Please!! Wake up people.
Let us not retrogress into the dark ages ,where we let ludicrous norms dictate what is right and wrong to us. How can we allow these shameful acts of murder be committed in the name of tradition and not forgetting to mention , religion. There is no tradition worth keeping ,if it causes you to kill your own defenceless child.

The laws are there. But , it seems ,nothing is stopping the people from becoming merciless killers. Their fanaticism for religion , caste , and status have made them heartless tyrants.
We should stop looking at the punishment side,because there is no point until the punishments are not harsh enough to shake the murderers.The best way to tackle this epidemic is to create awareness amongst the people, and educate them; to teach them the meaning of equality. Only this can bring about a change for the better, I suppose.

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Rupinder Chandel

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